I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
