Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
Apparently you make a good broom.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
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