it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
tell your sister to shave her snatch
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
hey..i found a takeout box with a half-eaten hamburger in it, the box said to text this number if found...
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
