it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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