Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
