She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
So vagazzling was a success
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
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