Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
It got weird I got a phone call while looking at porn and the video started playing while on the phone full on porn audio.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize