Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
