she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
Randomize