New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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