I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
