I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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