Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
No I have an idea, I saw you running through the neighborhood at 3am while I searched for my flip flops in a ditch
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
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