How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
