Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
Randomize
