"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize
