It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Randomize
