I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
Randomize
