I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
