I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
In a few weeks I'll be a beautiful butterfly and me and my cat will have to repopulate the earth. WE WILL REBUILD!!
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
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