I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
Randomize
