they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Randomize
