THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
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