Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
