does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
