Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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