I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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