THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
i believe in u and ur pee
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