i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
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