A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
