In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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