i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
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