Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
