yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
