Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize
