I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
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