i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
We were sexting and i didn't know what to say, so i said i wanted to wrap him in tortillas and devour him like a burrito. then i went on by saying that i liked my burritos with a lot of cheese.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
Randomize
