uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Sext me about skeletons
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize