Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
Randomize