god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
