that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Randomize
