he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize