And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
You're like the curious george of whores
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
Randomize
