Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
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