Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
