Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
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