Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just forgot I was standing up.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Randomize
