we have officially lost it.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
