He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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