literally had 100 drinks last night.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
50% drunk capacity currently
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Randomize