the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
you got in your car and made the sounds of a NASCAR, then called me on your phone and I was your pit crew. then you apparently you won the race, and THAT'S when you tried to backflip off the top of your car.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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