I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
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