did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
