Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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