i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
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