Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
