I don't usually arrange sex via text message
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I'm getting married
To pizza
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Randomize
