there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
so i woke up this morning covered in mail. none of it is mine.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Is it penis luge time yet?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
bro, your right, i shouldn't feel embarrassed about taking shots from a penis-shaped ice sculpture
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
